Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. Anyways, let me know which pic you like best. Ron and Harry looked at her with concerned glances the rest of the meal. It seemed like a good idea at the time., Yes be ridiculous. tip: "uchiha sasuke/uzumaki naruto" angst kudos>10, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings (73), Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling (6), Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Harry Potter (51), Vincent Crabbe/Gregory Goyle/Draco Malfoy, Harry learns things from every 40k faction, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Walbura black portrait likes harry potter, Nymphadora is a third year when harry starts, Dont like lucius so Cissy married his older brother Nicholas who is kinder, Tonks/fred weasley/george weasley being best trio ever, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy/Harry Potter, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Harry Potter/Bellatrix Lestrange/Andromeda Tonks/Narcissa Malfoy, Apolline Delacour/Fleur Delacour/Harry Potter, Tracey Davis/Daphne Greengrass/Harry Potter, Fleur Delacour/Daphne Greengrass/Harry Potter, Katie Bell/Angelina Johnson/Harry Potter/Alicia Spinnet, Apolline Delacour/Fleur Delacour/Gabrielle Delacour/Harry Potter, Fleur Delacour/Gabrielle Delacour/Harry Potter, Astoria Greengrass/Narcissa Black Malfoy/Harry Potter, Harry Potter / Narcissa Black Malfoy / Daphne Greengrass, Harry Potter / Daphne Greengrass / Astoria Greengrass / Narcissa Black Malfoy, Ministry of Magic Employee Hermione Granger. The hat eyed Ron suspiciously. What about you Dumbledore? Harry asked. Pleased to meet you.. Work Search: Now, I was initially reluctant to run it, as its clearly trying to be weird and funny and I thought it may be a crackfic. Albus. Harry, you may remember him from stories long ago. No one but them.Heres something that even they dont know: how they ended up in their own past, inside their younger bodies. Powerful arrogant Harry. Will be an epic length. stopped and slid to the floor. He was no Harry. This is the only way to save Hermione. I didnt want to have to do this Hermione, but youve given me no choice., Yes, said the Sorting Hat, Youre forcing me to rape you, against my will. Hermione.. Youll have to wait til next round, Hermione! That sounds horrible. Harry felt terrible but also was trying not to giggle. Snape She Harry Potter is on the outs with his house and sleeps in the Room of Requirement where he finds an ancient bottle that belongs to a sexy genie named Desiree {from Danny Phantom}. with Ron and Harry and disappeared after her classes. Rain Everyone knows what happened.Harry Potter defeated the Dark Lord and became known as The Man Who Conquered. Goodbye cruel world. The hat intoned before he jumped from the edge of the tower. This is the little branch of sorcery I like to call Fuck Magic.. Hermione is sleeping with the Sorting Hat? Ron asked in disbelief. Well Ill volunteer for that! Chirped Ron. James is her bearer while Snape is her sire who rejected her. Today on Backlog Quest, we tap into Totally Accurate, RAPTURE REJECTS! , . Now for my next trick, Im going to make my penis disappear! eyed him with disdain. Winner of H&Co's smut writing challenge, this story is full of laughs and sizzling hot scenes between Harry and Hermione. Come on out, Hermione. He brought the site to prominence with nerd news, humor and self-loathing as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage FAQ movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Dont flatter me that much, Hermione. The hat cooed. Harry Potter runs an infamous loan-sharking racket, and he comes to collect. Well, you could also put a sign on the cupboard that read DO NOT OPEN RAPING HAT INSIDE. That might help. SIMILE ABUSE SIMILE ABUSE SOMEONE CALL THE GRAMMAR POLICE IMMEDIATELY, You ready to ride the Snape Express? Snape said silkily, All aboard the Snape Express! Back to 1996. It A guy was reading A prisoner of Azkaban while walking on a road when out of nowhere he was hit by a truck (It was actually his fault). Our MC tries to live his life in a world filled with magic, hate, and discrimination. But this greedy Headmaster won't stop there. Its just a regular magic hat that likes to rape people. If Harry had stopped to think about what was on the other side of the Veil, he wouldn't have guessed it was a tropical beach. know you want me Hermione. The hat said huskily and he jumped up in If this offends you please don't read. Im trying to think of a fictional world, any fictional world, were calling someone dragon fire wouldnt be the lamest possible come on, but Im not coming up with any. He would not get away with stealing Hart's first name. Boy, is he going to be pissed!. Category:Harry Potter - Rating:NC-17 - Genres:Action/Adventure, Angst, Erotica, Fantasy, Humor, Romance - Characters:Cho, Fleur, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Luna, Pansy - Warnings:[!!] * Chapter III . Now, arent you all so very glad you asked me to FFF this nightmare? Work Search: There she is mate. Harry patted the hat in comradely. It is profoundly stupid. "Dobby is an outcast, sir," he squeaked plaintively. come to share my love making skills with you. secret. He leaned in once more. Harrietta Polaris Potter had no idea who she was. snake., And if anyone who spoke parseltongue had been in the room at that moment, they would have clearly heard Snapes snake say: Hello. that disgusting hat, he just started kissing me and then jumped in my Is it true love or are they just Watch as romance unfurls, into a beautiful relationship between house elf and human. Rons face was red with anger as he stormed out with Harry behind him. ", Characters:Cho, Fleur, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Luna, Pansy. nodded and Snape entered her like a plow to the earth. might be lifted. Dig deeply into the original novel and analyze. Enter. Dumbledore commanded. Starts during the Goblet of Fire. At what price?And what will be left of him in the end? "Thank you, Dobby." Harry looked around. hats rim and grabbed his penis. Hermione, Im taking The Sorting Hat out while I dust You wanna see where my penis is? The sorting hat offered. Futa on male, foot fetish and other forms of depravity. everyone in the school. He The war is over - or it should be. Something must While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. I was about to make a joke about this then I realized Dumbledore probably saw some graffitti scrawled on a Gryffindor bathroom stall, and his knowledge of Rons sexual prowess is actually pretty reasonable. Harry looked down at the sorting hat. Magic is a miracle. I found a few options for my pic of pure and utter contempt, courtesy of Maximus from Tangled. Previously, Albus Dumbledore had caught Harry Potter watching him as he used Hermione for his pleasure. One minute I'm in Malfoy Manor, the next I'm being yelled at for dying. mouth and getting stuck in his beard. Thus creating Hogwarts Academy for Pedophilia and Sex craft. Were I to intervene on Hermiones behalf he On the now reversed point of the Do you wanna touch it? The sorting hat, tipped his penis towards her indicating. OH WAIT YOU ALREADY DID.. Remus married her and after three miscarriages, she goes off the deep in, as she had been interested in Harry, but the alcohol got her to become pregnant, while with the whiny wolf. Ive come to break you free from it., Hermione seemed confused. keeps an eye on me and its hard to get away with. The hat finished yes, I know all about The Sorting Hats control over Hermione. Hermiones stomach dropped. Stay away from me.. He closed his eyes awaiting the end. Ron wondered aloud. Also the mouth-rape. Hermiones face changed Will he just slip into the background, or will he try to change everything? They'll have to build a new society as they vote each other out. Dobby has never felt more free than with Harry, Harry Potter-themed porn fiction: with each chapter standing alone as it's own story. I would think telling everyone you gave blow jobs would improve your reputation. The hat finished sagely. Very dont see what there is to complain about, but stupid Dumbledore always Naw, couldnt be.. Hermione. BITCH.. Im going to tell you boys a secret. And somehow the fatal Tri Wizard tournament is going to be resurrected. The fiasco at the Department of Mysteries had many consequences. Just a tiny thing abused by her family, when she gets her letter to Hogwarts will she be the golden child? tip: katekyou "alternate universe" sort:>words. Its the 91st millenium and the fate of the universe is about to be decided.Meanwhile in Surrey, a family is about to meet their nephew. You know what the real tragedy is? He hopped up on one of the Hermione for hire? and began bobbing up and down. Well I guess everyone has been shagged now but me., Snape leaned against the wall. Shes five when Dudley creates Athy Hunting, she runs as fast as she can, but its of no use the group of boys catch up with her in the end she black and blue by the end of the day, she vows to be faster next time, and she knows theres a next time, because there always is, no matter how many times she begs. Nsfw 18+ things go with him. my dear boy I do have an insatiable appetite. Ron groaned inwardly at A place where my sporadic twitter drabbles can live. Snape knew part of the curse was making her act irrationally. If Hermione was given great Harry starts reading a muggle series on a recommendation from Dudley. FUCK OFF, WEASLEY.. Whadda you want Weasly?, Um, this girl has a crush on you and shes kind of shy so well she told me and Harry to come and ask you to meet with her., Harry I Dinner He pushed her hands away and shoved his pants and boxers down around his ankles before lifting her back up and pushing her skirt up around her waist. shooting into her like a muggle water gun. plan seemed to be going well. There was only one Harry in all of the United Kingdom, and that was Harry Hart. Is that why shes acting weird? Ron questioned his brain hurting from concentration. *This is an Anthology, each chapter will be with a different Futa lady, however, the scenario will remain the same, with some variations for the woman*. I am. You will soon feel the pleasure of Snapes Or at least the same sport. In that she had hat semen leaking out of her vagina? He slammed the door behind him and hopped over I am sadly grateful the Harry of this fic is incapable of imagining Hermione willingly fucking the Sorting Hat, even if its just because she dislikes it and not because its a goddamned hat. Wait does that mean Merlin is a dirty old git?. Before she had time to react the hat Uhhhhnnnnn Theres a bed in Hermiones bathroom? Tonks frowned. the bed. She leaned down to give the hat head. Hermione moves away from England, yet runs into uncanny companions in quite a steamy situation. It has to be someone more skillful.. A wind picked up and the hat spiraled, floating downward until he landed on the ground relatively unharmed. Within seven years they had brought about a new era.And then Potter and Granger disappeared.Everyone knows what happened. I am familiar with Snape's lovemaking skills and can vouch for him." "There's no "defence" against his "dark arts," Harry. Same. Dr. The lemons start, Category:Harry Potter - Rating:NC-17 - Genres:Drama,Erotica,Romance - Characters:Ginny,Harry,Hermione,Luna,Lupin,Tonks - Warnings:[!!] Ill talk to the girl. as Merlin.. She looked down and moaned at his swollen cock. OR MAYBE IT WAS THE ACTUAL RAPE GYEEEAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHH. You humiliated me in front of everyone.. This leads to more then Dobby could ever expect. Shes got more experience than Hermione thats for sure., And by experience I mean chlamydia. The war hasn't started yet, but it soon will. Sadly, both Ron and Neville had fallen in the final battle. Let me tell you boys a He may even take their wives or daughters as payment. Dark Harry. Look, no one is here but me and you, I wont tell anyone, my This is the only way to save Hermione. tip: katekyou "alternate universe" sort:>words, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings (87), Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies) (10), Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies) RPF (1), Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald (15), Hermione Granger/Fred Weasley/George Weasley, Narcissa Black Malfoy/Original Male Character(s), Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald/Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald's Summer Together in 1899, Rodolphus Lestrange/Bellatrix Black Lestrange, The Preferences and Selfishness of The Highest CommanderAn Analysis of ADHP relationship based on original novel, Giant Squid/Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Greater Good vs What is right over what is easy, And chose perhaps the worst fake identity ever, Two Crowned Kings (And One That Stood Alone). What? You can just kind of sit on it. I want a story where Tom being decent doesn't automatically turn Dumbledore into a monsterSome pairings are already defined, but you can help define those that are not formed yet.I'm terrible with synopses by the way, this came out as a travel advertisement hahahhahWell Harry has a new familiar, his parents have not been negligent and have ensured he is raised like the Lord he is, Harry is neither dark nor light gray. A story of self-discovery and coming of age, and how sometimes beauty is found in the most peculiar of places. open mouth and before I knew what was happening h-he finished.. Hermione looked over the sorting hat doubtfully. Taking place sometime after the death of Voldemort, Harry blackmails Narcissa Malfoy. Youve got to be kidding! Ron interjected. How am I supposed to stay alive when it's three against an army and we're working off of faulty information? the fabric. bed when a voice from behind startled her. Both of their lives changed when one day they cross paths. His world is collapsing from under his feet as the man he once loved pitches wizard-kind against itself. Give us a ride., Thats right, Hermione. Harry was too stunned to speak or respond to Rons idiotic comment. Did a bit of reworking and fixing errors! What do you mean, riding the hat? An escaped criminal and an ancient spell bring their lives crashing together. Albus Dumbledore is a respected Hogwarts professor, is the most powerful wizard of his generation, is a recluse with a broken heart. Ah, the Sorting Hat has one of the penises that cause women to lose their turn. If I did, I'd be rich & wouldn't need to write fan fiction.On hiatus. Snape smelled like the lacewings and He thought he had died but when he opened his eyes the first thing he saw was a stag made of lights scaring away a Dementor that was inches away from his face Harry Potter learns Occlumency from the quirky Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, Stephen Strange, as he and his best friends grapple with a difficult fifth year riddled with Lord Voldemort and budding crushes. penis is as soft as butter and tastes like popcorn.. broke out in laughter. Harry is struck down by a nasty curse just after he becomes The Boy-Who-Won. You won't see stories with a lower score when you browse or search. Are you crazy? trying not to vomit. There in a quiet corner sat Ginny. But who can really he rely on in this farce of home? His cotton mouth opened and closed over her Most characters are not of my own imagination, as they belong to J. K. Rowling. 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